100 Emails, 20 Dates An SF girl's systematic quest to end her singlehood

Email 5: How low can I go?

After my friends set me up on Match about a week ago, we all piled on to my couch and started winking at boys. I'm a fan of the group winking method because it opened me up to possibilities that I might not have been open to before. Such as, a shorter height. I usually start at 5'10". This time, we started the search at 5'8". Four inches taller should be enough so I can wear heels, right?

We winked at one guy who emailed back (yes, only one out of about 10 guys I've winked at so far has actually responded).

January 24, 2009

Hey there,

You seem interesting... or, rather, your friend's description of you seems interesting. If I were to ask you out, would they come along on our first date to participate in the evaluation process as well? I'm a little intimidated, but up for the challenge. What the eff, as you might say.

You play the mandolin! What type of music does your band play? Bluegrass? Live music is one of my favorite things.

He's interesting: outdoorsy, started his own business, good sense of humor, and the crucial thing -- likes music and doesn't hate bluegrass. I liked him. I wrote back.

January 24, 2009

Thanks for your email. I do play bluegrass. In fact, the only non-bluegrass song I know how to play on mando is "Wanted: Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi. I've wanted to make that my soundcheck song for ages, but I keep chickening out. What kind of music do you like to go see?

Tell you what, if we do hang out, I promise not to bring my friends if you promise not to bring your pickaxe (is that what that is in the photo?).

He wrote back:

January 26, 2009

I'm into a bunch of different types of music. I'd love to hear your band sometime. I'll be the guy shouting "Jovi!" from the crowd.

You've got a deal. No ice axe on our first date. Would you like to get together for a drink later this week? Thursday?

Funny guy, right? Seems able to laugh at himself, gently poke fun of me, find the humor in things. He looked cute in his photo, although there were only two different photos (well, four total, but three were different versions of the same shot). Plus, I liked that we were proceeding right to the in-person meeting. We made plans to meet Thursday at one of the bars he mentioned in his profile.

When I got there (a couple of minutes late, because I had forgotten to get cash), it was packed. People were spilling out on the sidewalk. "How am I ever going to find him?" I thought.
"Nicole?" he said, from right inside the door. Perfect. I loved that he anticipated that it would be impossible to find each other and stood right where I would see him. The only thing was, he really was 5'8".

Now, I'm only 5'4" -- in other words, short. My friend R., who is 5'7" and just signed up again for Match, keeps saying that I should leave the tall guys to her. I think there's got to be enough guys to go around. There has to be. For two reasons:

• I don't want my kids to be short. Among other reasons, I don't want to condemn my children to a life of paying $10-15 extra for every pair of pants or skirt they buy just to get them hemmed.
• I like being able to physically look up to a guy. I suppose it's a psychological thing, too. OK, it is a psychological thing. I want to look up to a guy; I don't want to feel like I'm eye-to-eye with him. Plus, I want a guy who is tall enough to see a little above the crowd at a concert so he can scope out the best place for a shrimpton (as my brother calls me) to stand. I can't do that for myself. Yin and yang, right?
  

Still, not a dealbreaker.

We decided to go to another bar nearby. He bought the first round, we sat at a table in the front and started chatting. He's super easy to talk to and an interesting guy. But there was another thing I had trouble with: his voice.

I have a bit of a voice fetish. It could have a low or raspy quality, it could be the way he says "um," or the cadence of it or whatever, but when I like a guy, I really hone in on his voice. I'm not going to hone in on his voice.

Shallow, perhaps. But it is what it is.

Still, I had a fun time with him and I would absolutely meet up with him again. But no real sparks. Next!