Comments on: “When Harry Met Sally” syndrome

By: N

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 08:08:18 +0000

E, to answer your question, the truth is that he doesn’t exclusively like Asians (and yes, he is white). He had a crush on a white girl friend of ours for a bit. But “I like Asians” was true and also an easier way of telling me he’s not nor was ever attracted to me. I didn’t want to hear that (which is why, quite honestly, as much as I wanted to hear what he was going to say, I kept almost changing the subject as we talked). I guess everyone has their thing they’re attracted to. Mine is voices. His is ancestry, no matter how remote, from a particular continent. The “How fluid are people’s ‘must-haves’ in dating” is interesting. I think they become more fluid as we grow older, both because we realize we can’t find them and because we realize they’re not really that important. But you need to be attracted to someone, and he’s not attracted to me. That ends the story right there.

Kate, I like your thinking! The only bad part is that I know all these guys’ guy friends. These three are the cream of the crop. I do think that having that conversation with P. was a good thing, even if I had to lose my purse, phone, etc. in the process. Not that I would choose for it to happen that way, but I did always wonder, and now I know, and that means a lot to me. Also, I’m going to see Mexican wrestling on Valentine’s Day. If I can find a guy who wants to go with me to that, he would be a catch. :-)

Kristin, so true. Plus, Taylor Swift is a really good songwriter! She does such a great job of capturing those moments. I guess we keep feeling that way until we don’t feel that way any more (like a friend said about dating: “It sucks until it doesn’t, you know?”).

By: Kristin

Kristin — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:15:35 +0000

I’m so glad you posted again! I’ve been checking back every so often for you! I thought the same thing about identifying with an 18 year old love sick teenager…but eh, what can you do?

By: Kate

Kate — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:43:24 +0000

I am so glad to read a new post from you and so bummed about your purse! I really didn’t see that coming, even though you did.

Anyway, awesome introspection, and it gives me an idea: If these three guys have qualities that you are looking for, there’s probably a good chance that their friends do, too. What if you asked each of them to set you up? You could even frame it as a contest if it makes you feel less awkward about the asking. Something like: Hey, if one of you sets me up with someone and we click, meaning I have a date on Valentine’s Day, I’ll reward you with (fill in the blank—pizza party, whatever.)

By: E

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 18:53:53 +0000

Great story. I’d be interested on your take on this “I like Asians” thing. I mean do some people have some genetic compatibility thing where they are only attracted to one ethnicity? Or is this cultural? If this guy is white (that was my impression, but maybe he is Asian?) then what would he do 100 years ago when he wouldn’t have interacted with any Asians?

And a larger question—how fluid are people’s “must haves” in dating?