100 Emails, 20 Dates An SF girl's systematic quest to end her singlehood

My foray into data-driven dating

Online dating hasn't been going so well for me. This is brought into dramatic relief when my friends sign up for the same sites I'm on and immediately get winks, messages, and the seemingly inevitable dates as my profile languishes in obscurity.

Initially, I decided to take my profile down out of frustration. I gave up on online dating. But then I read that I'm in the Zone of Greatness. And I thought, "OK, ONE more chance." But this time, I'm going to do it differently.

Ever since I heard of that book Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb, I've been troubled by one thing that she says: that things we think are quirky and endearing are actually really annoying to others. I think my online dating profile could be full of these potential landmine.

So this time, I'm going to try to make my profile not be a dating minefield. I'm not leaving it to chance or my instincts. I'm doing it by the numbers.

OK Trends, the number-crunching official blog of OK Cupid, has posted a wealth of data-driven dating advice. And I'm going to follow it as closely as I can.

1. Successful profile photos. Smile, look sexy, and yeah, maybe show the cleavage.
2. What to say in a first message. Starting it off with "How's it going" gets more responses than "hello."
3. How long to make that first message. The data says that a 360-word or longer email will scare a dude off.

I'm going to try to track down more and put this all to the test. I'll let you know how it goes. First step: changing my username. My current username is boring and speaks to a hobby. My new username speaks to a trait and also implies that I am a happy person. I think this is a good move.

Also: Matt, from Online Dating Paradox, is doing a 300 emails in 30 days online dating challenge. If I can get my new profile up, I might join him. But even if I don't, I'll be cheering him on!